Simple mindfulness practices to build willpower and self-control
by Manish Behl, India’s leading Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence expert and TEDx speaker. Founder of Mindful Science Centre and Mindfulness India Summit , Asia’s biggest Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence Summit
How many times have you set well-intentioned goals or New Year’s resolutions, or made a commitment to go to the gym, wake up early, quit an unhealthy habit, write an article or book, or anything else that you know would be good for you?
Most of these pledges die quick deaths, mainly due to our false beliefs, lack of serious commitment and the absence of real motivation.
The funny part is that our own brain tricks us and gives us good reasons to cheat. It often seems like we are two different entities—one that has determination and the other that is lazy and loves comfort. Our brain tells us to cheat, and then belittles and humiliates us for our weakness, leaving us feeling guilty and ‘let down’.
Every time this titanic determination sinks, one carries a dull pain and long-term memory of failure, creating an attitude of mediocrity.
All this can be changed. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself. There are more efficient ways to reach your full potential with less of struggle.
1. Why only a few people are successful
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” – Albert Einstein
It is seen that people with greater determination are more successful in life, irrespective of their IQ level, in comparison to people with more intelligence or higher IQ but low self-control.
The first group has clarity of purpose and doesn’t get muddled in unhealthy thinking. Most of us are clever thinkers; we are able to draw good plans. But only a few of us are able to execute these plans with military precision.
To get to that level of execution the most powerful ingredient required is the will. Perhaps that’s why it is called willpower.
The formula is simple: Willpower = Control Over Decision-making = A Higher Standard of Living.
2. How to find your willpower
Battles are first won by willpower. After that comes fire power.
Willpower is a small word, but it is also an extremely important trait to achieve success in any walk of your life, be it personal or professional. We often don’t realise that how we treat willpower in our life has a major bearing on both the quality and the quantity of what we experience and achieve.
Imagine a 25-year old man with dying brain cells who faces gradual paralysis. He cannot stand, walk, talk or write. He is given six months to a year to live, but ends up living 76 years with almost 50 years in a paralysed state. Isn’t that remarkable?
Incredibly, in those 50 years this man became arguably the world’s most famous author, theoretical physicist and cosmologist. He served as Director of Research at The Centre for Theoretical Cosmology and as Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge.
That man was Dr Stephen Hawkins, the legendary scientist known for his extensive work on the Theory of Relativity, gravitational singularity and radiation emitted by black holes. He is an incredible example of a human strength with astonishing willpower and rock-solid determination that helped him to live long and also achieve many laurels in his lifetime.
Willpower is not about making big resolutions. Your brain gets stronger by making small commitments to yourself. Every time you succeed, your willpower thrives. – Manish Behl
The message is clear: value and prize your willpower.
3. Self-control and willpower
Willpower has multiple definitions. Psychologists call it self-control or self-regulation. Neuroscientists define it as cognitive control or executive functioning. It is a mental control process that allows a person to countermand pressing drives, thoughts, emotions, biases and behaviours.
Here is a situation: An overweight person who likes chocolates and cakes takes a resolution to quit sweets to reduce his weight. When he goes to a gathering or a party, he is offered delicious chocolate cake. What should he do? He is faced with the conflict of either enjoying the party by eating cake or sticking to his resolution.
“The intelligent want self-control; children want candy.” — RUMI
4. Mindfulness an easy way to build willpower
Effective self-control or willpower is the only treatment for your strong addiction or any automatic behaviours – – Manish Behl
Mindfulness meditation and mindfulness training is a scientifically-proven way to enhance the brain’s executive functioning or cognitive control.
Renowned psychologist Kelly McGonigal, who teaches the science of willpower at Stanford University, says, “Neuroscientists have discovered that when you ask the brain to meditate, it gets better not just at meditating, but at a wide range of self-control skills, including attention, focus, stress management, impulse control, and self-awareness.”
The science of mindfulness
Neuroscientists and other experts have discovered that mindfulness is an ultimate tool for clearing out mental clutter and cultivating positive physical and mental health.
Daily mindfulness practice of 15 to 20 minutes can significantly increase willpower. Mindfulness helps reinforce neural cell bodies and unmyelinated axons in areas of the brain which, in general language, are known as grey matter. These areas help us regulate reactions, emotions and decision-making.
The daily practice of guided mindfulness can relieve you from stress, reduce anxiety, build healthier relationships, help in better sleep and weight control, and generate healthy emotions and productive behaviours, besides offering many more benefits.
Why mindfulness is so powerful in today’s world
